We have a new clock in town (and by new I mean about a year old). I absolutely adore it. I have really taken a shine to hearing the chimes whilst strolling through town or frantically waiting for the red light to turn. It gives me so much pleasure, I wrote a preemptive love letter to the Downtown Development Authority to cut off any joyless dingdongs who want to complain about the noise. No one’s taking this from me!

This clock is special…

Because it’s not a clock at all. There’s no face to be seen. But somehow, from somewhere various chimes, dings, dongs (not to be confused with the aforementioned dingdongs), and jingles can be heard all day throughout town in a three mile radius- assuming the wind is blowing right.

And if the idea of a non-clock, clock isn’t intriguing enough, the mysterious speaker has a mind of its own, gracing us with a smattering of quirks to keep us on our toes.

Obviously it does the typical grandfather clock chime on the hour. That’s quite accurate by my estimation. I love the ding dongs. It makes me feel connected, like all is well in our sweet little corner of the universe. But this really isn’t about warm, sentimental Mayberry feelings. This is about the jingles. 

Precisely three minutes after the grandfather chime (yes, I timed it) a song will play. Nothing unusual there (other than the dramatic pause).  My grandma had a wall clock that played songs every hour- classy things like Dvorak and Hungarian Folk song, number something or other. But therein lies the difference. This non-clock, clock doesn’t stick to classical melodies. It has a repertoire that would make Spotify jealous. 

One evening, my husband and I were taking a walk downtown, and the clock made its steadfast grandfather chime. Then (exactly three minutes later) to our surprise it started to play “Yesterday” by the Beatles. And then to our continued surprise it played another verse… and another. That clock didn’t stop until the whole darn song was played. All 2:47 of it. Yes, I timed it too… Ok, I didn’t. But you get the point.Thank goodness it wasn’t “Hey Jude” or worse- “Free Bird.” It would have been 8 o’clock before that one finished. 

As enjoyable as it was to hear “Yesterday” in the artistic stylings of a grandfather clock, you have to admit that’s a pretty strange song choice.

For months I thought about the singular experience of hearing a legitimate bop being played by a clock (that isn’t really a clock). And I say singular because we haven’t heard it play again. The song choices have become a bit more mainstream (at least in the clock genre). I’ve heard some delightful showtunes- “Edelweiss”, “You’ll Never Walk Alone,” and my favorite selection: “Singing in the Rain” (so charming).  

But I just can’t let “Yesterday” go. Boy, there’s some irony… 

This got me thinking… What other songs would you never expect to hear coming from a clockless, clock in a small Georgia town-or anywhere for that matter. I decided to make a Top 10 List à la David Letterman.

10. Highway to Hell- AC/DC

9. Barbie Girl- Aqua

8. Ice Ice Baby- Vanilla Ice (But we all know David Bowie & Queen should have gotten some credit.)

7. Welcome to the Jungle- Guns N Roses

6. Hit me Baby One More Time- Brittany Spears

5. Christmas in the Cemetery- Kaytlyn Bohannon (You don’t know this one? Read my book- it’s going to be a classic!)

4. Smells like Teen Spirit- Nirvana

3. Dancing Queen- ABBA (But maybe it should be…)

2. Baby Got Back (I Like Big Butts)- Sir Mix-A-Lot

 And last but inappropriately not least:

1. Sexual Healing- Marvin Gaye

I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking this. After all there’s a chime that plays songs where my grandma is buried, and I swear it played “Tea for Two” when I last paid her a visit. Upon further reflection that might be weirder than “Yesterday.” But you know, I bet Grandma still enjoys hearing a musical clock just like she did at home. I guess it runs in the family. 

I would love to know what wildly inappropriate songs came to your mind. Please comment below!