My daughter used to pee a lot. A whole lot. Anytime we went anywhere new or did anything minutely nerve wracking she would have to go. Sometimes twice. 

We were fortunate to take a trip to Washington, DC and New York City years ago. Let me tell you, did we ever see some bathrooms!

She had to go during the changing of the guard at Arlington Cemetery (very spacious facilities). Nature’s call was answered in the Natural History Museum (apropos, n’est-ce pas?), and too many more spots to count. Did you know there’s a bathroom under the Lincoln Monument? 

I do now…

New York wasn’t any different. She peed at the top of the Empire State Building- no, not off the side- in the restroom on the 82 floor (which is quite an impressive feat of engineering, now that I think about it). She powdered her nose in the Gershwin Theatre (twice)  and saw a man about a horse in both Battery and Central Parks. 

As frustrating as this was, I think there might be a children’s book buried in here somewhere. I’m not saying it’s going to be an instant classic or anything, but there’s clearly a market for the toilet genre. Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi opened the flood gate.

There are tons of books telling kids it’s okay to use the bathroom, dozens of books telling them how to use the bathroom, and even a couple of toilet books with some real heart (Lou, by Breanna Carzoo- that one makes me tear up. Seriously, you should check it out at the library). But have you ever read a children’s book about going to the bathroom at famous landmarks? I don’t think so. 

I kind of imagine the book being like the classic film, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, but you know, with actual pee. I can even see this turning into a series- Emma Pees in Paris, Emma Pees in the Outback. 

Or what if one day she has to pee and meets a famous person in the bathroom! Emma Pees in the White House: How one little girl met the president and changed American politics forever. 

Oh! What if she peed in historical settings with historical accuracy. Emma Pees at Machu Picchu Spoiler Alert– aqueducts are involved. It could even be like the Magic School Bus where she shrinks down and follows the waste through the sewer. Hold my horses– I think I’m getting a little carried away here… ok, a lot carried away.

Regardless, I still stand by my initial  idea… even though I pee sitting down.