I always make a beeline to the paint section at Home Depot. We’re usually there for something much less exciting, but I can’t help it. I love color. I love seeing all the paint chips systematically arranged by value and hue- creativity and order synergized in one perfect display. Don’t even get me started on Pantone- they’re doing the Lord’s work!

Sidebar: Speaking of perfect displays- I had a similar reaction the first time I went into a color-coded Good Will. It was like the heavens opened and angels sang. 

It never fails that I leave Home Depot with slightly less than a dozen paint chips (no need to be greedy), whether I intend to paint something or not. I did have an existential crisis once when I was selecting a color to paint an actual thing. “It’s all just blue or green,” I bemoaned. “Ultimately, there are only like seven colors!” I wailed whilst gnashing my teeth. Let’s be real, blue, indigo, and violet are kind of a stretch separately- like when you count the lettuce, four bell pepper strips, and two tomato slices as three separate servings of vegetables on your Subway sandwich.

In that moment I remembered that Mantis Shrimp can see a bazillion more colors than humans. I have never been so jealous of a crustacean in my life! (It was a bit of a low point…) 

Sidebar: While writing this, I looked this factoid up to see exactly how many more colors Mantis Shrimp could see. Apparently it has been debunked, but I didn’t pay to read the article in its entirety so the details are a little fuzzy. Let’s just say Kaytlyn 1, Shrimp 0. 

Needless to say (so obviously I’m going to say it), color is my kryptonite. But as much as saturated shades capture my attention, the color names are equally alluring. Naming the colors- what an awesome job. Encapsulating the spirit and possibilities contained in a tint not only sounds fun, but a creative challenge as well.

I’m sure there’s a lot of psychology involved too. Shakespeare penned, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” While this is technically true, I have my doubts when it comes to naming colors.  My bedroom is painted in “Cafe au Lait”. It feels velvety and luxurious, warm but not confining- like being in an intimate Parisian cafe on a drizzly autumn afternoon perhaps? I love being in that room, but I don’t think I would feel that way if it were called, “Consult With Your Doctor if Your Stool is this Color Brown.” Parisian cafe or colonoscopy– you decide…

I wonder if there’s a connection to the colors, and by extension names (or vice versa) and ourselves… you know, beyond our digestive health.

Let’s see. 

My house also sports “Bakery Box,” and “Cream Puff.” (Not to self- don’t go grocery or paint shopping on an empty stomach.) “Meteorology” and “After the Storm” grace the walls of my living room. And to round  it off, a touch of the exotic- “Dash of Curry” and “European Gray.” 

Food, nature, and world heritage. Yeah, that pretty much sums me up. 

Sometimes I think it is just the name. That’s why I chose “Bakery Box.” How else was I supposed to choose from 50 shades of white? (That sounds like the Angel Flicks version to something much less holy. Note to self: pitch this idea)

In the 90s Crayola introduced sixteen new colors with a contest to name them. Some of the winners included “Tropical Rain Forest” “Razzamatazz” and “Macaroni and Cheese” (I’m hungry…) But the sharpest crayon in the box was “Purple Mountain Majesty.” That name! Chef’s kiss! (Dang- I’m really hungry…)

I never got to enter that contest so I’m going to do the next best thing. Here is a random sampling of Pantone colors, just begging for a moniker more imaginative than 8244C. Please feel free to play along in the comments below! 

Starlight Promenade (That’s naaahhhd)

Shopaholic’s Delight (Meaning when I see things in this color I feel compelled to by them)

Swan Lake (but like the nice one, not Odile who I think is the real victim here)

Orange You Glad I Didn’t Say Apple? (you know, as in the knock knock joke?)